Greg Oden's Diary: Entry # 2

Dear Diary:

Tournament time, bitches. The O gots himself a Big Ten Championship, but you know the man wants a NCAA bling-ring-on his pinky fing. And then, I want the WWE Title. I could probably beat that Russian dude for the heavyweight title, too.

For real, though; is Wisconsin even a real team? It's like, "Double-double for Oden, cheese and fat chicks for Wisconsin." I dominate the Big Ten, just like my "Big Ten" dominates the ladies, playboy. There was some funky chickens hanging outside the hotel for the tournament, I cannot WAIT for them NBA shorties, yo. I be swattin' tig ol' bitties like I be swattin' fools shots every night.

Man, I tried to Google this team we're opening against. Central Coneticut. It kept saying "no results." Where's Coneticut anyway? It don't matter. Only places matter are THE Ohio State, THE Oden's Den and THE city that drafts me. 16 seed never beat a 1 seed, and you bet your ass it ain't happenin' on the O's watch. I might go for 50/50/50/50 night - 50 points, 50 boards, 50 blocks - and 50 BJ's, son!

Coneticut, watch yo ass, Oden want a sandwich.

ODEN OUT!