Wednesday, January 03, 2007

The Biggest Busts in the NFL, 2006

Alright, first of all, I know what you’re all wondering…”Where in the holy hell have you been of late, Richie K?” Well kids, the answer is simple, we’ve been out banging moms, duh. Of course, it also has been an issue that Brandon actually got employed (read his stuff now on page D10 of local greater Baltimore newspapers for that important Goucher-Villa Julie women’s college basketball report). But I digress. What good would a blog post be if it didn’t contain the typical vitriol necessitated by the genre? So, let’s get to brass tacks here. It’s time of course for another top 10 list. The list? The biggest busts of the 2006 NFL season. And yes, Brandon, the Skins are on the list, sorry.

10. Eli Manning. His stats aren’t terrible, and the Giants made the playoffs, but when you’re a fought over #1 pick in his third year starting, well, you ought to not be a weekly emotional question mark. I know Philip Rivers has struggled recently, but yeah, just a little bit of a difference…




9. The Seahawks. Like Eli, Shaun Alexander, Matt Hasselbeck and co. are playing in January, but they won’t be marching in like they were last year. I know they’ve been banged up, but the loss to San Fran was just…terrible. It really does make me question if this team won’t lose to the Bears by 37 should they play.

8. The ‘Skins. All I heard this summer was, Joe Gibbs is gonna be able to take this team with all these weapons and a solid D deep into the playoffs because he’s such a great coach and has all these weapons. Well, ahem, co-blogger, that hasn’t exactly happened now has it? Now they’re out of the playoffs, starting the backup, have a coach who looks just like an old man, and hell, I haven’t even heard of a good Clinton Portis outfit in weeks!

7. The Cardinals. They are who they always have been! I think Edgerrin James kind of wishes he went to a team that had, you know, an offensive line. At least Matt Leinart became a Dad. I’m sure he can take solace in that and the amount of grade-A poontang he gets to bury his face in every day. Otherwise this chic NFC West pick has been a disgrace to what is apparently an awesome stadium.

6. Daunte Culpepper and the Dolphins. I couldn’t really separate one from the other. Remember the preseason hype for these guys? It was, “they finished so well and now they have a former all-pro at QB.” Well, guess what? Apparently Daunte spent a few too many days on Lake Okeechobee because they started ice cold, and he got benched for Joey Freaking Harrington. At least they sort of re-created a strong end of season run again; I can’t wait for them to be predicted to win the Super Bowl again next August. They should bring back Shula.




5. Jon Gruden. Wasn’t this guys supposed to be a boy genius? Christ, I don’t care if you have to start Bruce Gradkowski, if you’re so damn smart, you can do better than 4-12. At least he still has his spleen, though.

4. The Steelers. They lost two key components of their championship team in The Bus and Randle-El, and they weren’t exactly the most dominant champion ever, and, of course, Ben Roethlisberger decided to test how many lives he has, and yeah, they are now .500, but still, defending champs aren’t supposed to be 8-8. Their season really does remind however of the Patriots 2002 season where they finished 9-7 but then the dynasty rolled on.

3. Jake Plummer. Teams with championship aspirations shouldn’t ever have to bench the starting QB. I mean, hell, even Trent Dilfer held his job. Yet, here the Broncos find themselves. I remember a Bill Simmons column last year where he compared Plummer’s revival year to Rich Gannon’s career. Well, needless to say whereas Gannon late in his career became an MVP, Plummer finds himself on the path to clipboard-dom. Too bad; his beard last year was pretty kickass.





2. Randy Moss. Has any player ever suffered a more precipitous decline in fantasy value? I mean, wasn’t it just like three seasons ago that he was the only receiver you’d consider as a 1st round pick? Now, granted Zack Braff’s retarded quarterback character from “Garden State” is likely better than the Brooks/Walter combo in Oakland, but still, Moss has basically admitted to not giving a shit while on the field. Way to go Randy.

1. The Panthers. Sigh, I too bought into these guys. I really liked them, especially with DeAngelo Williams. Instead, they’re out of the playoffs again. Oh well. I’m not bitter just because they ruined both my preseason picks and my weekly picks, nah, not at all. Damn you to hell John Fox!!!







Now, we’re going back to banging moms. Stay tuned.

15 comments:

Signal to Noise said...

Why aren't there any rumors spreading around that Jon Gruden and John Fox are in danger of losing their jobs?

Anonymous said...

See, for the Redskins to be a disappointment, there must have been rational people who thought they'd be really good. When you really look at their team, it was led by a 70 year old QB (who was marginal, at best), a good RB, a decent WR. Same could be said for every team in the NFC East, not to mention just about the whole league. Add in a defense that was no good (even before the season started, people had to realize this) and you have team that might be able to win 7 games. 5 is definitely not great, but to make a list like this one, I would have needed some proof before the season that the redskins could win at least 10 games. Anyone who thought that would happen was, and is, out of his/her mind.

Anonymous said...

Dude, I just saw your comment on Deadspin about the Redskins being good in 2008 and beating the Eagles. I suppose if you are comparing it to this season, yes, the Redskins will be good...6 or 7 wins good.

Anonymous said...

How in the world can Cincinnati not be involved? A completely hopeless defense, a sputtering offense with various star players literally crapping down their leg in crucial games, terrible clock management, and despite being given repeated chances to clinch a playoff berth, squandering them due to a missed field goal and botched extra point.

And that's not even mentioning the off-the-field crap.

polevaultking said...

Joey Porter anyone?

Remember when SI said he was the most feared guy in the league? I am a Steelers fan and i even laughed when i got that issue from the mailbox. I laugh louder when i see that cover now. He stunk in 2006.

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