Jerseys to Avoid

It isn't easy being a sports fan these days. Free agency is killing the games we love. And free agency is making it hardest on the jersey industry. How many people have an "Owens" 49er jersey in the back of their closet? An "Arrington" Redskins jersey? A "Webber" Kings jersey? Big name players have no allegiance anymore, forcing us to go and buy yet another jersey almost every season. With that in mind, here's a list of the jerseys you may want to avoid at a sporting event, for several different reasons ... (We here at Rich Kotite Banged Your Mom are trying to compile an entire roster - # 00 through # 99 - so please, post a comment with a # and name if you think you've got a winner -- or loser ...)

NUMERICAL ORDER

# 02 – WR Darrell Blackman, North Carolina State Wolfpack ... Not a safe jersey for a white guy at an NC State game.

# 03 – PG Chubby Cox, Washington Bullets ... Mr. And Mrs. Cox went to all of young Chubby's games, but never understood why the announcer's were so hesitant to recognize their young son for his outstanding plays.

# 04 – P Sam Koch, Baltimore Ravens ... "Koch really drilled that one" is something even Ray Lewis laughs at when it comes on over the loudspeaker.

# 05 – D Naif Al Qada, Saudi Arabian National Soccer Team ... Close enough to get a double take during the World Cup. Avoid this jersey if you're in an airport, as well.

# 06 - 1B Joe Adcock, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim ... Joe Adcock. He 'ad some balls, too!

# 07 – C Gregor Fucka, Winterthur FC Barcelona ... This guy has gotten his coach a few technical fouls for just calling out his name.

# 08 – SG Vinny Del Negro, Phoenix Suns ... Again; my caucasian brothers, avoid this one in public.

# 09 – F Ahn Jung-Hwang, Korean National Soccer Team ... The only jersey Michael Jackson owns.

# 10 - F Dean Windass, Bradford City Bantams ... While not pronounced the way you'd think, no one stood behind him on the sidelines regardless.

# 11 - QB Casey Dick, Arkansas Razorbacks ... Not a popular Dick on campus with Mitch Mustain in the picture.

# 12 – PG Pee-Wee Gash, Tennessee Volunteers

# 14 – C Radek Bonk, Montreal Canadiens

# 15 – QB Jim Bob “JB” Cooter, Tennessee Volunteers ... Lots of Volunteers on this list. But I guess that's just the South for you.

# 16 – SF Matt Bonner, Toronto Raptors ... It's pronounced "Bon-ner." But he played in Canada, where it's pronounced "Boner."

# 17 – D Dan Shittu, Watford ... The Hooligans have a good time with Danny Boy in the Premier League.

# 18 – SS Jack Glasscock, Indianapolis Hoosiers ... He must've had a tough time with the ladies.

# 19 – WR Damarius Bilbo, Dallas Cowboys

# 20 – CP J.J. Putz, Seattle Mariners

# 21 – CB Randall Gay, New England Patriots ... No one will buy this jersey in New England, ever.

# 22 – PF Rudy Gay, Memphis Grizzlies ... He may become an all-star, but he's not going to sell a lot of gear.

# 24 – SS Harry Colon, New England Patriots

# 25 – LB Wilford Blowe, Chattanooga Mocs

# 28 – LW Alexander Semin, Washington Capitals ... This guy has some shot.

# 29 – SS Adrian Aye-Darko, Duke Blue Devils ... Do not taunt the brothers with this jersey. Although it's Duke football, so no one would see you if you wore it to the stadium.

#30 - OF Brian Asselstine, Atlanta Braves

# 31 – SP Ted Lilly, Toronto Blue Jays

# 32 – G Ron Tugnutt, Edmonton Oilers ... Wow. Tugnutt. Good goalie.

# 33 – D Zarley Zalapski, Hartford Whalers

# 34 – RB Ben Gay, Cleveland Browns

# 35 – SP Darren Sack, Sonoma State Seawolves

# 36 – LF Johnny “Ugly” Dickshot, Chicago White Sox ... With the last name Dickshot, I found it amazing his nickname was "Ugly." Not very creative teammates in Chicago at that time, I guess.

# 38 – DB Demarcus Faggins, Houston Texans

# 39 – SP Dick Pole, Boston Red Sox ... Boston fans love Dick Pole. And they like this guy, too.

# 40 – SP Chien-Ming Wang, New York Yankees ... I want to hear a "WANG! WANG! WANG!" chant from the Bleacher Creatures on FOX soon and see how Joe Buck reacts.

# 41 – RP Jimmy Gobble, Kansas City Royals ... Poor guy must've had a tough high school career.

# 42 – LB Gary Lovely, Brigham Young Cougars ... At least he's a linebacker.

# 44 – RB Curtis Enis, Chicago Bears ... I know a lot of these jerseys were sold when he was drafted as the Bears savior. I know a lot of letter "P"s were drawn on them when he was a bust.

# 45 – OF Rusty Kuntz, Chicago White Sox ... Wow. Just ... Wow.

# 47 – LB Lucious Pusey, Eastern Illinois Panters ... His parents did not like him as much as his brother, Lemmetouchyour.

#49 - RP Harvey Haddix, Baltimore Orioles ... Harvey Haddix; and balls, too.

# 50 – LB Jeff Gooch, Tampa Bay Buccaneers ... For those of you who don't know, that's the part of your body between your asshole and your ballsack. He has a Super Bowl ring, though.

# 51 - SP Jung Bong, Cincinatti Reds

# 53 – SP Jordan Tata, Toledo Mud Hens ... *giggling*

# 61 – OL Johnny Flowers, Southeastern Louisiana Lions

# 65 – RG Heath Cockburn, Furman Paladins ... My personal favorite. Here's hoping he makes it to the NFL.

# 66 – Driver, Dick Trickle, TropArctic Pontiac ... Trickle is funny. Dick Trickle is unreal.

# 72 – LG Jason Spitz, Green Bay Packers ... Lets hope he never lines up next to a center named Swallows.

# 74 – RT Todd Weiner, Atlanta Falcons ... Weiner. His name is Weiner ... Uhh huh huh, huh ...

# 79 – LT Guy Whimper, New York Giants ... Tough last name for an offensive lineman.

# 80 – TE Alex Spooner, Cornell Big Red ... He's an Ivy Leaguer, so don't feel too bad for him.

# 81 - WR De’Cody Fagg, Florida State Seminoles ... He's an NFL prospect. I can't wait for Mel Kiper to talk about him on Draft Day; mostly because of his size. "I love Fagg here. Fagg fits in great here. Big Fagg."

# 85 – TE Ed Wang, Virginia Tech Hokies

# 87 – TE Kyle Sackrider, Michigan State Spartans ... This name is mind-blowing. What nationality is "SACKRIDER?"

# 90 – DT Quinn Pitcock, The Ohio State University

# 93 – DE Cory Dix, New Hampshire Wildcats

# 96 – DT Pat Kuntz, Notre Dame Fighting Irish

# 98 – Driver, Greg Sacks, Thorn Apple Valley Ford ... I can recall a time when he was being drafted in a race, and the announcer actually said "He is just tapping Sacks, folks. But Sacks is still hanging around. Sacks will not be intimidated."